Forgiving Myself

            I was reflecting on the Gospel earlier this week, from daily Mass (Matthew 7:1-5), and I would like to expand on it a little.  Jesus speaks about not judging others and to humble ourselves; because we probably have similar faults!  (Yep, we are all sinners, and we all have that “splinter” in our eye.)  I think about the times I have made a quick, mental assumption about a friend or family member.  I catch myself being agitated with the situation and want to blame it on their response, rather than taking responsibility for my own behavior.

            When it comes to having an open conversation about what’s really going on and communicating what each other is thinking, I remind myself that it is easier to give them the benefit of the doubt, the next time around.  They really didn’t mean to make me upset or to feel hurt.  But the hardest part I find in making up for my own mistakes is that I often beat myself up, when it is I who is really at fault rather than them. 

            I invite you to take a moment to reflect on this particular “attitude.”  (I don’t always appreciate this term myself.  So if it bothers you, replace it with another word that changes your perspective towards yourself and others.)

Am I willing to forgive and provide myself with the same, compassionate way I forgive others? 

            I find it does no good beating myself up over it.  I know I am still working at this.  The areas where I often fall short causes me to have a lot of anxiety over being “less perfect.”  (Again I say, no one is perfect; so remember to be patient with yourself!)  How harshly do we reprimand ourselves?  Since it gets us nowhere, I find it is better to learn from the mistake, correct it, and not take it so seriously.  Sure, there can be serious mistakes; but what about that time I made a wrong turn while driving?  Or stumbled over one of my talks?  Does that make me a “bad person?”  No! 

            It isn’t always easy to stop judging, especially myself.  But I hope these examples find you more self-compassionate and ready to move forward from what was tripping you up.  I pray for your perseverance.  I hope this insight gives you time to examine and reflect on life’s daily grinds, and to remember that we are all in this together!

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.  Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them- every day begin the task anew.” – St. Francis de Sales