Happy Feast of St. Therese

Thank you Therese for being such a good example for us “little ones.”

For obeying your superior in explaining the little way,

And sharing it with your novices.

Thank you Therese for teaching us confidence and holy abandon,

For responding to you vocation, to be love in the Heart of the Church!

I thought this quote by St. Francis de Sales was very helpful.  As he also says: "In prayer we must not seek the consolations of God, but the God of consolations."

"The mere comfort of a prince’s presence or that of someone we greatly love makes watching, pain, and toil a delight, and danger itself desirable.  But nothing is so grievous as to serve a master who knows nothing of our service, or if he knows about it, still gives no sign that he is satisfied with it.  In such cases, love must be strong, because it stands by itself alone, unsupported by any pleasure or any expectation.  Thus is sometimes happens that we have no consolation in the exercises of sacred love, because like deaf singers, we do not hear our own voices and cannot enjoy the sweet melody of our song.  Besides this we are oppressed by a thousand fears and troubled by a thousand false alarms that the enemy raises around our heart, suggesting to us that perhaps we are not pleasing to our master and that our love is fruitless- yes, even that is false and vain, since it produces no consolation.  Then, Theotomis, we toil not only without pleasure, but with very great distress, since we see nei9ther the good of our labor nor the satisfaction of Him for whom we labor.

…It is now, my dear Theotomis, that we must show unconquerable fidelity to the Savior, serving Him purely for love of His will, not only without pleasure, but under this deluge of sorrow, horror, dread, and attack, as did His glorious Mother and St. John on the day of His Passion."

New beginnings can either be exciting or scary.  I’ve got to admit, I was nervous when I went back to school this year.  But it was thrilling when I had entered the monastery a few years before that.

            

Change is good; we just have to be ready for it.  Preparation is key to doing well, be it a test or time of transition.  Personally, I find it intimidating.  But, as I get ready for my next class, I am more prepared for what to expect.  Experience always helps.  But you have to begin somewhere, at some time.

Having an open mind and being full of optimism are good qualities to have when it comes to new beginnings.  It helps us to accept whatever comes our way and any new information to be received. 

 Learning new things is good for the mind, and it heightens our experience and increases our wisdom.

Life is beautiful,

No matter how hard.

Every sacrifice is worth it,

United with Christ’s cross.

Life is beautiful,

Every step we make.

The joys, the laughter, the tears,

For better or for worse.

This is your life, accept what it costs,

Bring Jesus to others, and save what is lost.

Life is beautiful,

Rejoice in His Name.

Since entering my adult years, I have realized more and more what kind of world I live in.  Though sheltered by good morals and being around the right kind of people, we are surrounded by violence, immorality, and clashing politics. 

Knowing what is truth is so important: what is right, and what is just.  I have heard so much about witnessing during times of persecution, and I must admit my confidence has not dared me to always step out of my comfort zone of passivity and shyness. 

But, since going to school, I have been unafraid of witnessing to friends that, yes, I was in the monastery for three years, until I got really sick.  Yes, I am Catholic.  And yes, I am not ashamed to pray grace before meals in public. 

Yes, I am shy about sharing my political views, because I still strive to know them; but I also need to decide when my voice needs to be heard.  Should Target be excluded from my choice of shopping?  Yes. 

This is only a “scratch off the surface” to living in a troubled world in need of much prayer.

New Beginnings at Youth Group

At the beginning of my religious life, my novice mistress often spoke of “new beginnings.”  And so we are doing as we begin a new school year at youth group.  Leaders come to know students by conversation, students come to know God by word and example.  As a leader myself, it is also I who am coming to know God through what I teach.

            I appreciate the preparation for each Sunday Youth Group.  It reinforces my prayer life and reminds me of what I believe, so as to testify to this faith with my own personal enthusiasm.

            The youth have been my greatest priority when it comes to intercessory prayer, which is an intention to present before God.  That you, oh young people, may open your hearts to God Who is Love.  To have a relationship with Him and His Blessed Mother.  And by grace, to bring that love to the world.

Our Lady of Fidelity

Isn’t it a wonder that Our Lady was able to handle standing at the foot of her own son’s cross?  This was the fifth of the seven sorrows she would endure throughout Our Lord’s life and death. 

But she was not only a woman of sorrows, she was also a woman of joys.  According to http://catholicism.org/the-seven-joys-of-mary.html, “The Seven Joys of Our Lady are: (1) The Annunciation; (2) the Visitation; (3) the Birth of Our Lord; (4) the Adoration of Jesus by the Magi; (5) the Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple; (6) the Resurrection of Our Lord; (7) the Assumption of Mary in body and in soul into Heaven.”  So life balances with its joys and its sorrows, as Our Blessed Mother experienced. 

But one title I decided she is also worthy of is that of Our Lady of Fidelity.  Her faithfulness to her Son is one of trust and confidence: God is faithful to His promises.  And I see in her, especially in my enfolding vocation to religious life, an example of this faithfulness. 

How do you see Our Blessed Mother?

God Alone

The word monastery indicates a place where one lives for God Alone.  

But what does this mean?

To live within a community, yet to do everything to please God and not one's peers.

It is to be in love and to do everything in union with a loving God.

Let us ponder this theme and strive to live it out: to live for God alone.

Can we live it in our day to day lives as lay people?  Can we offer to God our works and not only our prayers?

To live for God alone.

“Be Who You Are, and Be That Well.”  (St. Francis de Sales)

This must have been my novice mistress’ favorite quote by Our Holy Founder!  I continue to ponder it to this day.  What does it mean?

Coming home from the monastery, getting over a sickness, and deciding what to do for the time being has challenged me to live out this very message.

What does it mean to be myself?  What will lead me to be what God is calling me to be?

If you want to add comments with your thoughts, please feel free to do so!  So far, I think it’s about knowing your talents and having a relationship with God to know how to best use those talents.

What do you think?  This is a good quote to ponder for yourself!

This is an article I wrote shortly after my reception of the habit on September 8, 2013

A New Novice’s Reflections

So many graces received- or so many to come because of the experiences I have had during my year in the postulancy.  The day before my reception of our holy habit, I was making frosting for Our Lady’s birthday cake.  To make it light and fluffy as a cloud, each ingredient must be incorporated into a gradually transforming concoction.  The consequences of my efforts?  Not so great, resulting in a humbled rebeginning.  Sr. Mary Francis explained the science of it all.  Leave it to an experienced professed.  My second trial brought on a time of insightful reflection- God has His ways of speaking to us!  (There was much time using the beaters- I think one transformation took 15 minutes!) 

                Sr. Mary Emmanuel would mention during the last remaining months of my postulancy that she had noticed changes in me that I may not be realizing.  It was a good motivator, being blind to my own progress.  Like those egg whites that refused to foam at first, changes can be so gradual that we don’t always see them.  It doesn’t happen overnight. 

So I’m guiding the beaters and seeing a slight change of thickness.  The vibrations from the machine were going up my arm.  I switched hands.  We examine our conscience a lot in living out this lifelong road to holiness.  As one on retreat, I had asked pardon of all the sisters for all my failings.  This having to start over would be a fault for next week, but it has helped me to realize something.  As I am a novice now, I am called to renew my commitment.  I am getting a fresh start, since last year.  I had learned and supplied the “ingredient” customs and spirituality of our monastic life.  Now I can know them and begin to express myself as a “wanna be/gonna-be.”  It seems like something you would come with as a visiting retreater or even as a postulant.   But, no matter how much you desire the life, you don’t understand the practical reality of living within the enclosure.  It takes humility to prune and reshape our ideals and dreams of the religious life.  As of right now, I find my behavior towards some things to be quite different from how I would react “out in the world.”  I’m still learning, and as St. Francis de Sales says, every day is a new beginning.

                Two days following my reception, we were in the midst of festivities for our Mother’s feast day.  The novitiate put on a fifteen minute play that I had originally written as a narrative.  This time of reflecting and resoluting has covered a wide spectrum, more than I would realize.  The play covered my intimidated experience as a retreatant, and then a postulant, figuring out how to appropriately break open a hardboiled egg in the refectory.  (I can do it now, by the way). 

                God has been there for me as the central focus of my life, whether I could grasp, sense, and interpret, or if I could not do any of these.  Sometimes it takes time.  And just like the icing for the cake, God provided us with the ingredients and the love to respond.  God be Praised!  Always!

Being With God

I have thought about how much we need to be with God, as He calls us through the Psalms to “Sit and be Still” with Him.                                                        

When first discerning the possibility of a vocation to the cloister, one of the questions I crossed was whether I could handle sitting in chapel all day?  I didn’t think I would be able to.  Fast forwarding to my first visit to the monastery, I couldn’t grasp how to meditate, which the Sisters do an hour and a half of, each day!  It can be quite a journey.  And after receiving many explanations from various sources and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I realized just how simple it is, and that I had done it even when I was still living “in the world.”   

Shortly after my entrance into the monastery, I took up an informal challenge to “live in chapel” during my free time.  (Just as a quick explanation, praying in the chapel is the life and love of a religious, though we still have our jobs throughout the day of “keeping up the house” and supporting ourselves, as any family would.)  I would make an extra effort to be in His Presence physically, when I did not necessarily have to. 

But maybe you’re thinking the same thing I did…  Don’t you run out of things to talk to God about?  Well, there are different methods you can use.  You can pray for people, do your personal devotions, discern ways of loving God, meditate on Sacred Scripture… or you can just sit there.  It’s almost the same as unwinding from a busy day of constant movement.  Work, school, shopping, chores, social time.  You just need to stop and calm down and not think about it for awhile.  Wondering how I apply it in regards to my own lifestyle?  I take out from my mind that I just scrubbed a staircase, the mental plans I was making for what I would do after the Divine Office, what I will do with the fifteen minutes between meditation and supper… 

Let it all go away.

My novice mistress said to write down what needs to be done, and

           

                                                                         

then I just sit before Our Lord and Our Lady.  Nothing needs to be said.  That in itself can be hard to do, so I begin with a short phrase, having a direct awareness of His Presence and adoring Him. 

“I’m here, Jesus.  I’m here.”  Just breathe it in and let it wash over you.  Try it!  Give yourself five minutes before turning on the TV or texting a friend.  Jesus will appreciate it!  There might be distractions at first, but grace comes with the effort.  Sometimes it helps to get ideas from the prophets and the saints.  Since I started off with referring to Lent, let me conclude with some thoughts, if you choose to make this part of your Lenten resolution: don’t stop practicing it!  These forty days are a time to draw closer to God and being more prepared for an even more advanced, contemplative level.  Be open and let Him affect you!

There’s a story of how someone walked into a church and found a man gazing at the Most Blessed Sacrament.  When asked what he was telling Jesus, the man replied that he was saying  nothing.  “I look at Him and He looks at me.”  

Basking in God’s Presence

When I was growing up, I liked to sit outside during the early summer and bask in the sun.  It felt good, its warm rays shining down upon me and everything it can touch. There have been times after Office of Readings in the monastery, as we positioned ourselves 

“forward,” that the late morning sun would shine right on my face.  I wouldn’t be able to see, it was so bright.  With no way of avoiding it, I would “piously” close my eyes.  But this inconvenience soon turned into a prayer: Lord, radiate Your love ,Your graces upon me as this bright light is doing.  The question is: am I receptive to it?  It is a question worth pondering.

To be open to this radiating grace.  All I have to do is receive, receive, receive, and let Him respond, respond, respond through me.  His Presence.  His Love.  His graces.

With this availability comes trust and effort.  We let God work in us.  We are the people He uses.  He acts in us.  But we need to give Him permission.  I have learned to prefer Jesus’ will over that of my own, because it is so much better than anything I could have in mind!  He gave us a free will, and He is so gentle about offering His Plans to us.  Will I be open to it?  Can I be receptive, even though it may be the unexpected?  When an inspiration comes at prayer, an insight or a way to improve, I must use it- how dare I let it bounce off, unappreciated and denied? 

Like I’ve already shared, it can also offer a lot of insight for contemplation.  I recently realized that the beginning of the Hail Mary relates to this.

                Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.

                Mary, the Lord is with you.  And you are with the Lord.  You are Present to one another.

God is always there.  Do I always make myself present to God, in everything I do, as He is always Present?

                Blessed are you among women.

No wonder Elizabeth thought Mary blessed, as her cousin is so receptive!  Mary is present to Christ, and now so completely that He is physically with her.  Yes, His incarnation was prophesized with a messianic purpose, but He chose her to be the channel of His enfolding as man.

                And blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

This places Him in the picture as the Promised One.  This Precious Child within Our Lady must be always adored.  It is good for us to address Christ in this prayer.

                Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.  Amen.

                Yes, we must ask for her prayers, to help us so we can be as receptive as she.

Three times a day, the community prays the Angelus to the ringing of bells.  Now I notice the meditation of each part as contemplation, and even my own response, to the Word being made flesh.  Like Mary, to receive, receive, receive.  If nothing “comes,” we can still be confident that Jesus is here with us.  Breathe Him in.  Soak in His Great Love like the rays of the sun.  He is here.  Bask in Him!

In the Presence of God... A Scratch Off the Surface

Mission: To encourage and catechize an ultimate relationship with God.