Authentic and Known

                 Congratulations, you get a bonus reflection this week!

                I really enjoy researching and reflecting on “holy words” like love and humility.  Another word that I recently found intriguing, came from within the word humility, and that is authenticity.

                I picked up a new book for spiritual reading that I was not too familiar with, though I know who the author is.  It is called Chasing Humility by Joel Stepanek. I just finished the first chapter, and boy is it insightful!  With my own journey of recovering from depression and anxiety, I was engrossed by the way he spoke of authenticity.  It is not about trying to be admired and accepted by others, such as living a “double life” with different sets of peers.  It’s about being how God sees us. 

                I’m still in the works of finding authenticity, acclaimed in other religious resources.  In fact, I believe it is something repeatedly sought after, throughout one’s life.  As Joel Stepanek writes, sometimes it looks like people have it all together.  They only show themselves as happy people, shying away from appearing with faults or the slightest mistakes.  But is it not human to have both good and bad days?  Weaknesses and strengths?  Lessons learned?  As followers of Jesus Christ, there is that sense of on-going discovery. 

                Who am I called to be, and am I living up to it? 

                Prior to and while having an anxiety disorder, I have had big dreams for myself.  Some of them I have already been able to accomplish.  Going to a World Youth Day, visiting the grotto at Lourdes, entering a cloistered monastery….  Even something as simple as running down a hill is self-fulfilling!  These are wonderful interests I find joy in, though there have been a lot of realizations of going after what God wants me to do with my life. No, I did not spend the rest of my days in a cloistered monastery, but I am now happy with my boyfriend.  Sure, my depression can make life feel blah, but I learn to focus on what can distract me from those melancholy days.  My anxiety often makes me fall short of my potential, but that does not make me less faithful to my Lord and God.  Yes, I love volunteering, but what about trying out for an internship in my ideal field of work?  What about getting that novel published?  What about getting past the camera and actually giving talks before a live audience again? 

                Amidst all of this soul searching, guess what I came to realize?  God wants us to be happy!  So yes we can celebrate our accomplishments, and we can look at what we can do for God now.

                What I am telling you, I am also telling myself: never let yourself fall short of living out an authentic, Jesus-loving lifestyle.  And keeping learning!  I am sure I have a lot more to learn myself, about this ever-true way of life, as I continue to explore the meaning of authenticity.  And, as St. Francis de Sales once said: Be who you are, and be that perfectly well!